It does not make a product more innovative, powerful or valuable than it really is. It does not attempt to manipulate the consumer with promises that cannot be kept.
I’ve found that being honest to other people isn’t hard.
What I’ve found is hard, is being honest with myself.
The reason why we lie to ourselves is something called "cognitive dissonance."
We experience cognitive dissonance when we have an uncomfortable tension between who we believe we are and how we are behaving.
While it’s sometimes easy to catch yourself in the moment, it’s hard to change direction once you’re in it.
I find the most telling and revealing way to know whether you’re being honest with yourself and others is when we feel resentment. Resentment is one of the most powerful emotions given to us by our biology.
Let’s say that you’re hanging out with a group of people… and during the conversations, someone in that group digs on you a bit, a funny joke to most, but it took you by surprise and you let it slide. Seeing that you let that joke about you slide, then a bit later comes another dig. This one hurts a bit more, but again, you let it slide.
You go home. You begin to boil. Why did you let them speak to you that way? Why didn’t you stand up to yourself?
These are feelings of resentment. They are POWERFUL tools. Resentment means that you haven’t embraced your shadow (as Carl Jung would say).
You weren’t true to yourself.
We lie to ourselves in many ways:
- Ignorance - Shooing away feedback
- Denial of reality - Mostly, that we have a problem.
- Self-handicapping - Uncertain about abilities, and downplay them
- Projection of a persona - Being who we think others would like us to be
- Overconfidence - Thinking you’re special
- Reducing desire because of failure (Sour grapes) Aesops fable about the fox - Giving up
In today’s B90X, let us know! How are you lying to yourself today?